apple3982's Xanga

I wanna quit!

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 06:57:50 GMT

I'm starting to think that maybe Andy and I aren't a good match. He started smoking two months and didn't tell me about it. When I found out.... his response was.."I thought you knew". I didn't get so mad at the time. In fact, I kinda blame myself. "Why didn't I catch him smoking in these two months?" I tried to talk to him and see why he started smoking and stuff. Two days ago, I got the flu from a co-worker. I didn't go to work for two days. This monring when I woke up, I was still feeling a little shitty. Andy woke up and puked a few times. I'm sorry for how sick he was. But how the hell can he get more sick than I already am?? Turns out that he drank a bottle of vine and three beers or something. What in the world was he thinking? And why does he always have to drink and smoke? He's such an addict!! I don't even know what to say anymore.
Earlier I was refilling Milo's food and I spilled a lot of his food on the floor. Andy walked in and he laughed at it. I got sooooo mad. I said," It's not funny! And don't laughed at me!" He said he's not laughing at me, he's laughing at what happened... Isn't that the same goddamn thing? I don't get it. Maybe someone will... but that someone will definitely not be ME!!

Just came back from SD

Sun, 22 Oct 2006 03:16:14 GMT

I finally got to go back to San Diego and visited my mom. I was so happy to see her. But this time....I'm feeling a little bit sad after visiting. I feel that I should take care of her. She's very lonely in San Diego by herself. I really wonder.....Am I too attached to her ? A lot of people don't live with their parents anymore...Do they feel the same like how I feel? Or am I too weak? I really wanna see her everyday..maybe go workout together...play with Milo together.... On the other hand, I always feel that I'm so depend on her...that I won't learn how to be independent unless I don't live with her. FOr example, I never learn how to cook until I moved into the apartments. I didn't know how to cook when I was living in the dorms. (Pathetic? I know) *sigh*... My goal now is to figure out what I wanna do (career) and then find a place I want to live... so that I can find a house for mom nearby :) That'll be my ideal life. hehehehe.. Hopefully my dream can come true SOON!!!!

^_^

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 03:53:13 GMT

I'm pretty happy today. I got two potential interviews and Milo doesn't seem to ignore me as much. (Still very much.. just not as much) I think it's because I fed him steak today.

Honestly...I didn't expect anyone to read my stuff.. (thought I have no friends) hahhaa.. Anyways...I am very happy and surprised that you guys left comments for me, and they were very encouraging and comforting. So, Thank you! Anybody got any plans on July 4th night? I kinda wanna go see fireworks. Anyone interested? Please let me know!!! I'll be driving to San Diego and spend most of my time there except for July 4th night.

My harajuku lover keychain finally arrived!!! I love it....but now I have to find a use for it. hehehe

Stupid dog

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 06:34:11 GMT

Sometimes I really hate Milo. I understand he doesn't understand emotions too much, but he still hurt my feelings sometimes. I know he likes to hang out with Puffy...and he's always in Bertha's room. And Bertha won't tell him to leave..and he'll just stay as long as he can. He sometimes fucking bark at me when I walked out the room...what the fuck is that.. and you don't see him barking at Bertha. I always wonder if he thinks Bertha is his owner. I tried to give him treats and stuff.. but he'll just go right back to her room after I give him treats. Fine! Maybe I'll just get rid of it at the end of the year. Not a lot of places allow pets anyways. I so wanna give up this stupid dog. At least, mentally.. I pretty gave up already. Now I don't even have to feed him cause' he just eats off Puffy's bowl anyways... I'm so sick and tired of being the bad person. I give up. If I can't find a place that allow pets.. I guess I'll just give him to SPCA. I'm sick and tired of this apartment.. this dog.. and more

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 08:15:17 GMT

I hate this. I have to go to my on-call job tomorrow and I CAN'T FALL ASLEEP. No, I'm not too nervous or excited about the job. I'm just worried about not being able to live. I tried to sleep earlier... but a lot of thoughts were hanging out in my brain and I can't get them out of my head. THoughts like....'don't forget to file for unemployment tomorrow', 'when is my rebate money gonna arrive?', 'what company I should send my resume to first?' 'should I try to apply to mcdonalds?' 'why am I such a loser?'
Thank God...Andy has been really nice and very supportive when I'm down and frustrated. Tonight is one of the few nights that he went to bed earlier than I do....and I can't fall asleep. I wonder if that has anything to do with it...
I hate my former employer...they were so disorganized, but they said I was the one who is UNFIT for the job. What do they actually mean by "unfit"? Can you be more specific than that? I think they are the ones who are UNFIT to be an employer. ASSHOLES!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 23:57:43 GMT

I'm still unemployed :( I'm not TOO worried about it. Worst come to worst I'll just work in Wal-mart or McDonald's. Better than unemployed, right?
Anyways, I made two appointments today which triggers a memory from....About four months ago, that day...I had to go to urgent care. I was so frustrated cause I haven't figured out how my insurance plan works. Only salus was there with me the whole time when I was soooo frustrated and sick. :( I miss her so much. Thank you for always being there for me, girl! *sobbing*
I had a thought last night after watching a movie called "Unfaithful". Obviously, it's about cheating. I was just wondering if cheating is stage in a relationship. Well, I've known a lot of couples who the husband or wife cheated on the other person. And some of them still able to maintain a good family. To some people, cheating means the end of their relationship. But to some people, it is a learning experience. If they wouldn't have cheat on the other person, they wouldn't know that the other person is so special to them. I admired those people who got married. 1. It's such a big commitment. 2. I can't imagine myself being with the same person for the rest of my life. Doesn't that sound boring? Also, you always have to consider the significant other's feelings in whatever you do. Isn't that a pain in the butt? (If you know what I mean)

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 05:33:47 GMT

I didn't do much today... didn't go to Kohl's... didn't job hunt...nothing! *sigh* But Andy got me a nice pair of Roxy fur shoes. Though he didn't know why I would want them so much, but he got them for me as our anniversary gift. Can't believe it...next month will be our 1-year anniversary. I still haven't thought of what to get him....(oh, no!) Humm...*thinking*